


is horny an emotion

by cactusthespacecat



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast), The College Tapes (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coming Untouched, Enthusiastic Consent, Excuse the typos, FUCK IM YEARNING HERE, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, POV First Person, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, i am yearning, i wrote this from 1 am to 7 am and have not read it, im simply in love with adam hayes, yearning in first person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:41:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28047870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cactusthespacecat/pseuds/cactusthespacecat
Summary: This is self-serving;Takes place after The College Tapes, but no real spoilers for TCTCaleb Michaels is a simp for adam hayes and yaknow what me tootheres a lil sprinkle of sex guilt in there too, for spice i guessno holy shit there is so much yearningHoly shit the formatting is ass but it's got flavor i think (im sorry)
Relationships: Adam Hayes/Caleb Michaels
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	is horny an emotion

"Hey, what's up?"

Adam didn't look up from the spreadsheet of homework in front of him. I kicked his legs off of mine, trying to get his attention, but he just glared at me from underneath the hood he had pulled up around his face.

He was so cute like that, all walled up against the world. All except for me; I got to see the dark bags under his eyes and the caffeine jitter in his hands as we sat in this damned burger joint and I just sat and watched him do his homework for some stupid English class. 

It was quiet, just us and a few sleepy regulars sitting at the bar stools in the front.

Quiet emotions too, all flat and sort of just… there. There was one person sitting alone that kept getting waves of sadness, but I was able to take that in stride, at least mostly.

Adam's feelings, though… those were much harder not to think about. 

He felt... disgusted? Gross; angry, for sure, but at what?

Was he mad at me? Were my legs uncomfortable? He's never complained about it before but there's a first time for everything.

"Is something wrong?" 

Adam glanced up from the page he was squinting at and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, Caleb. Not a big deal." He said, and blinked hard. It was late, we should go home, but I wanted to stay with him, like this, where I can see his hair in a little ponytail under the hood.

"Doesn't sound like 'Not a big deal'." I mumbled, staring down anything but Adam. I can feel everything he's feeling, and his eyes still manage to convince me of anything. And I didn't want to get convinced it was nothing when I knew it was.

"Doesn't sound like anything because I'm not gonna talk about it, Caleb." The stress he put on my name, through his gritted teeth, made my heart race, but in a bad way.

I wanted to fix it, make the bad go away, not because I didn't want to feel it, but because I didn't want HIM to feel it. He deserves to only feel happy, and I'll be damned if I won't try as hard as I can to make that possible.

"Well, if it's nothing, Adam," I put the same stress on his name as he did, mostly to be a pain but also so he paid attention, "Then why aren't you doing homework anymore?"

Adam sighed and put his pen down, running both hands through his shaggy black hair as he slid his hood off. Oh hell, my boyfriend is so hot, even frustrated like this.

Frustrated, that's what he's feeling. But with what? With me? I moved my hand away from where he was working, just in case, and put both hands in my lap, my legs still propped up on the booth bench. 

"Caleb…" It came out like a moan, and oh man, I know he's mad but hell if I didn't want to reach across the table and get a fistful of black hair in my hand and-

"Caleb, it's not you. It's the way that my professor worded this assignment. We've already read this part of the book but he's acting like we haven't and now I'm worried that somehow I read or wrong or something and I feel like if I analyze this twice I'll disintegrate, like an anti-Beetlejuice or something."

"I thought Beetlejuice was three times."

"Well, apparently because if it wasn't, the guy would have appeared or something when you said it." 

"Doesn't it have to be-" 

"Shh shh, you're ruining the magic." 

"What magi-" Then he put his leg back on my legs and every word I've ever learned was gone from memory for just long enough for my brain to short circuit.

I guess he saw my expression or something, because he chuckled, just kinda looked down and smiled, and I straightened up a little in my seat as I felt his happy, a little bit of satisfaction, rock me in waves. 

God, he was so pretty. Greasy hair, his neck red from rubbing at it, his eyes raw from long moments of not blinking. So pretty. 

He sighed. "We should go, I think." 

I looked around, stretching as I sat up. "Why, what's up?" I noticed that he felt less sour, but didn't want to say anything to possibly ruin it.

"Bored. And I guess if I've read it, I've read it."

I shrugged. 

"It's not like you to be bored of homework, nerd." I said, light hearted. I was happy to leave. It was a weekend, which meant that Caitlyn was away to hang out with Frankie, so we had Adam's apartment to ourselves. Sans the occasional poorly timed fire drill, of course. 

That did happen one time, we were so… into it that we seriously considered risking if it was an actual fire. 

Oh man, just thinking about when that happened, looking at each other, looking at Adam and knowing that maybe there's a fire in the building but I'd rather keep going? It got me distracted from what was actually going on for a second too long and I came to reality to Adam kicking my foot.

"Did you hear me? I said 'And it's not like you to question me NOT doing homework'."

I laughed a little, swallowing back the thought of my boyfriend, sweat on his skin and my fingers in his hair. 

"Just want you to do well in school," 

"Sure." He laughed, putting paper into folders for a second before he hesitated. 

I feel a pang of worry stab on my direction and it's almost enough to make me feel breathless before I make eye contact with Adam.

"Are you sure you wanna come back to my house? I know the bus doesn't run this late but I can call an Uber or something or-"

"No, no, Adam, it's okay." I put my hand on his as it rested on the table. "Of course I wanna come back to your house, I love spending time with you." 

Adam breathed a sigh, and I basked in a sunbeam of relief before he started packing up his bag again.

"Good, because I washed the sheets and everyth-" He started to say before glancing up at me. "Oh shit, I didn't mean it like that, I always wash my sheets before you come over and-" 

He shook his head, and I was so overwhelmed with his embarrassment that I was too stunned to tell him "Hey, it's okay, I don't think you mean it in a sex way, you were making a joke and then you got flustered and you are SO cute, fuck."

Instead I probably just blushed at him or something.

Maybe he blushed back? My feelings were so muddy with his sometimes, maybe because I didn’t wanna think about if he was thinking the same thing? If he was thinking about maybe not waiting to make out until we got to his place, maybe thinking about parking somewhere secluded, and letting the light lull of panic underneath the want for each other mix with the hot breath fogging the inside of the windshield? Wait, no, we don’t have a car, we have to wait. For the bus. Fuck.

I swallowed down the idea that maybe the waiting made the want stronger and tried so hard not to look at him for too long. 

“It’s okay,” I laughed it off, helping him finish packing up entirely and holding out his jacket, “I… get it.”

Adam laughed a little, but he was looking at me funny. Shit, did he develop empathy powers overnight or something? Why was he looking at me like he could read my mind? Oh fuck, is being atypical contagious? No, he would have told me as soon as possible, right?

Fuck, unless the first emotion he felt from me was that I wanted him against the nearest wall with his shirt off. Pressed against me, with my hands in his hair and his emotions all over me making it-

“Caleb?” Shit, Adam was talking.

“Huh?” I responded, eloquent as per usual.

“I need you to let go of my jacket for me to put it on.”

“Oh, shit, sorry.” 

Good one, Michaels! Pass from this realm without finishing a simple task to have horny thoughts about your boyfriend! Fuck…

I shook my head and tried to focus on Adam’s emotions, he had to be peeved at me, right? But I couldn’t for the life of me. All I was getting was that dumb, frustrating, blind lust. And a little bit of smugness, I think. It didn’t make sense, but I latched onto that and let it overcome me a little. I could still feel myself, but I could breathe a little now. 

I cleared my throat. “So when’s the next bus out? It has to be one of the last ones, right?” I started to pull out my phone to look it up, but Adam was already nodding, zipping up his jacket.

Wish he would zip it down, instead. 

Wait, fuck.

“I need to set up an alarm, one of these days I’m gonna forget and have to walk all the way home. I hate the new bus schedule; don’t they know that in order to cater to me specifically, I need a bus from here at ass o’clock in the morning?” 

He was mostly mumbling to himself, but I found myself laughing anyways. I took a deep breath and grabbed his hand as I passed his side of the table, picking up his backpack and slinging it over my shoulder.

“Are you sure you can carry that, young man?” Adam said. He was smirking, FUCK, he was smirking AT ME and I choked down some half-baked retort about carrying him too. Instead of trying to talk, I flexed overdramatically and winked, pretending I had any of my shit together. 

Oh fuck, what was that?

Did I just get more turned on from flirting with Adam?

Then it hit me, like a brick; or possibly something heavier if I’m honest. 

I wasn’t just feeling my own feelings. Adam was feeling the same damned way, and as soon as I realized it, it felt like trying to walk through set concrete not to find the nearest bathroom.

What was I thinking; I knew exactly where the nearest private bathroom was. But hell if Adam didn’t deserve better than a bathroom cleaned once a day. He deserves clean sheets against bare skin, against-

So I swallowed, no, shoved everything down and buckled up the backpack because if I was being honest, Adam’s backpack wasn’t light at all. I keep telling him to take stuff out of it, but no matter how many bruises he gets on his shoulders, he insists he needs it all.

I think Adam might have laughed at me being goofy, but I was so distracted by my own thoughts that I can’t even remember leaving the burger place. I remember paying the driver, but I’m nearly a hundred percent sure that I paid them too much. 

I felt like my whole body was on fire. Adam was talking, and I swear I responded, but he had his hand on my leg and it felt like every bump in the road made his grip tighter and higher. 

I was focusing so hard on not thinking about Adam that I almost forgot that that’s who I was talking to. Fuck, it was like an echo chamber but I didn’t want him to know that I was feeling what he was feeling. Maybe let him forget about the atypical shit for a few seconds.

I could not forget about any of this, worrying that somehow I was pushing my thoughts on him or that he was doing the opposite to me, even though he would NEVER. 

So I held my boyfriend’s free hand on the bus to his house, ignoring that I was nursing what could turn into an almost painful boner.

There was a point where I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees while I watched a video on my phone and Adam put his arm around my waist and hooked a thumb into my belt loop and I felt like I was going to be sore from the new butt muscles I was clenching trying not to squirm. 

But other than that, and every other time he moved and I smelled his hair or something, I was in the clear, I think. Stealthy, calm, collected, present. Definitely. 

I was doing great, actually; I pulled the cord at our stop and everything. Wait no, Adam did that. He leaned so far across me that he was all I could feel and see, and as he came back, he kissed my neck so lightly that I may have shuddered.

But I was feeling happiness from Adam, too, so I was doing good, whatever I was doing.

I carried his bag off of the bus as we got to his place, and I noticed that he didn’t jab at me when I almost dropped it on my head getting it from the overhead rack. Must have been tired, it was around midnight. Maybe we’ll just eat some leftovers and pass out then, I can totally do without his hands on my body and- 

Oh hell, at least we were nearly inside.

“Are you going to kiss me at the door?” Adam’s voice pierced through my semi-conscience brain and I looked up, confused.

“Huh?” 

“You’re fumbling with my keys like you’ve never unlocked a door before, Caleb. Are you okay?”

I ignored the question, smiling instead. 

“And what if I am trying to get a kiss at the door? Would that be okay?”

Adam- oh fuck he was smirking again- looked at me from under long eyelashes, “I think that would be okay. More than okay, actually.”

And then oh fuck, he was grabbing my collar, his other hand was sliding into the back pocket of my jeans, but like clockwork I was kissing him. My throat was burning from anxiety, like every time we kissed it was the first time. I was feeling his heart thud against mine, and the last time I wanted was for him to be pulling away so soon but he was. Every horny thought I had been having for the past hour was gone, all I wanted was to kiss him again in this chill air.

So I did, sliding my hand up the back of his neck and into his hair and I felt my pulse race as I forgot how to separate our emotions again. Everything was pink and green as he stepped forward between my legs to get even closer to me. 

I felt him relax against my hand in his hair and felt my other hand drifting to his waist, pulling him even tighter. 

Holy shit, I’m in love with Adam Hayes. 

And I’m looking at him. Looking into his dark eyes under the streetlamps, not knowing when I stopped kissing him and started looking. And he’s looking at me too, but my feelings are so strong that I can’t even stop to wonder what he’s thinking. I only hope it’s the same as me. I just know that I’m all pink and hell, I don’t care if it’s because it’s cold or because of atypical shit. 

“Inside?”

That’s all he has to say for me to basically fly into the apartment building and vault two flights of stairs to get to his door. He never lets go of my hand, and at this particular moment, I couldn’t imagine ever wanting him to. 

And suddenly, Adam was unbuckling the backpack off of me, and slamming the door behind me. And kissing me. Holy fuck, was he kissing me. His hands were under my shirt, clawing at my back, running up and down my thighs. I swear I was kissing back but my breath was so short, I was melting against the door and I think I moaned?

Shit, I definitely moaned. Adam is grinning against my neck where he was leaving long kisses. 

“Is this-” He’s breathing heavy too, his pupils blown out, “Is this okay, Caleb?” I can’t even answer, I’m just nodding as I lean down to kiss his neck.

He pulled away from me, his eyes wide and expecting. “Do you want to-” I see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows, “Do you want to have sex with me?”

I nod again, feverish, before I find the words. My voice is hoarse, my throat sore from longing, but I manage, “Yes, please, I-” I’m staring into his eyes and I keep getting distracted, all I want is to slam Adam on the bed and touch every inch of him, with my mouth, my hands, my eyes.

“Yes please, I would love to have sex with you, Adam.” I whisper, my voice grating.

“Oh thank fuck, I’ve wanted to jump your bones for hours now, you meathead.”

And he was kissing me again, sloppy kisses full of passion anywhere he can reach. I took off my jacket and shirt, and without the natural law of things, I don’t think I could tell you which order they came off in.  
Adam’s fingers dug into the skin on my sides as he clawed, trying to get closer and closer despite the fact that we were basically on top of each other standing there.

“Hold on,” I rasped into his ear and as I felt his grip on my back tighten, I picked him up, holding his knees on either side of my body and spinning us around to slam his back against the door.

“Fuck,” He melted. I kissed up and down his neck and around his collarbones, leaving bites as I got lower and he squirmed under my mouth. 

“Can I take off-” But before I even got the words out, he was taking his shirt off. My skin ached where his hands used to be, and I heard myself whine in longing.

Adam smirked- oh FUCK, he smirked and I felt all my nerves light on fire. 

His hair was already a mess, his eyes were wide and the blush on his cheeks and the tops of his ears made my heart skip a few beats.

And then I realized I was staring, and breathless, left a hickey the size of a dime right underneath his ear, just high enough that there was no way to cover it, and hard enough that he shuddered out a moan.

“Yeah?” I murmured in response, and Adam glared at me. 

“Are you gonna fuck me silly or are you just going to edge me for another hour?” He said, grinding against me so softly that I don’t think it was on purpose. 

Whether or not it was on purpose, it drove me crazy. I felt like all of my skin was buzzing, and it was all I could do to stay upright.

“You mean like you did to me?” I breathed, grinding back, my lips brushed against his ear and he shuddered. 

“I don’t know what you’re-” He started to say, but I bit a bit of skin on his jaw, and he sunk into my arms, crying out as he melted. “-oh FUCK. I don't know what you’re talking about, meathead.”

His smile- oh hell- his smile said otherwise, and I slid one of my hands up his chest, cupping his chin in my hand. “Are you sure?”

He never answered, not really. Instead he kissed me and I got lost again, lost in a haze of lust and love.

Fuck, I’m in love with Adam Hayes.

I readjusted my grip to make sure he was secure and moved away from the door and towards his bedroom, kissing him the whole way. I never, ever wanted to stop kissing him, but I kept running out of breath and having to stop. 

I put him on the bed gently. As much as I want to throw him places, I give him enough bruises without that kind of thing. And that gives me an opportunity to sink to my knees, spreading his knees apart gently. 

Oh fuck he was beautiful like that, spread out, eyes wide, body buzzing with energy and lust that I kept losing in my own need.

“Adam-” I breathed. He looked up at me, confused.

“Is this okay?” I pulled at the chunky belt holding his pants up.

Adam nodded, already pulling at the belt and his pants. “Fuck, of course it’s okay.”

I helped him pull them off and took my own pants. Man, I need to stop wearing sweatpants to Adam’s place, it makes it seem like I’m always ready to bone down. I mean, I am, but I can look a little hard to get, right? 

My hands grab at his thighs, pinning him to the mattress, and I thrust down slowly, trying to savor the feeling of our bodies touching. And then suddenly, it was like putting my whole hand in a socket. 

“Fuck, I want you inside me.” Adam gasped, and I couldn’t help grinning. 

“You don’t have to ask twice, dork.” I’m already feverishly palming to take off his boxers, leaving hickeys near his hips bones and throbbing cock. I took that cock in my mouth, spreading his legs on either of my shoulders.

“Holy shit,” He moaned, and his hand flew to my hair, bucking his hips into my mouth.

“Uh oh,” I hummed around him, and he shuddered again, a string of expletives tumbling out of his mouth. “Better keep it slow, baby, you don't want to-” I leaned back, tracing two fingers around his rim. 

He shivered, and so did I as the waves of emotion bounced off each other. 

“You don’t want to come too fast, do you?”

Adam bucked towards me, searching for friction, and I pushed him back towards the mattress. He glared at me. God, he was so pretty.

“I’ll do what I want, meathead.” 

I made a show of shrugging, and pushed a finger in at the same time I took him in my mouth again, fast and hard.

He screamed, biting his pillowcase.

“Holy shit, Caleb, you asshole, I’m going to go crazy, please- Ah!”

I put another finger in. 

It seemed like he was already stretched out, and I really loved watching him unravel underneath me. But hell if my own cock wasn’t feeling like it would explode any second on its own. I felt every wave of pleasure my boyfriend felt and it was making me sweat already. So I scrambled off of the bed to the closet, where he kept the condoms, tearing one open with my teeth and grabbing the lube on my way.

I watched him squirm for another half second, every inch of his body radiating want and love. 

Then I straddled him, lining myself up to his hole. I already saw bruises forming where I was gripping his waist and thighs, and kissed them for a moment while I slid into him. 

I shuddered as I came to rest inside him, processing my pleasure and then Adam’s. Fuck, he was enjoying this, and so was I. Fuck knows I was enjoying myself. 

I drew back to thrust again, and collapsed with the combined pleasure, cursing and moaning. 

“Oh fuck, Caleb, are you okay?” 

I nodded, shuddered, but took a deep breath and sat upright again.

“Are you sure? We can stop.” He said. I laughed a little, trying not to move my hips. 

“No, no,” I panted, hunched over. “It’s just a lot and I don't want to come like.. Immediately.”

Adam grinned and slid his hips further into mine, making me gasp and fall forward onto his chest. 

“What’s wrong with that, Caleb?” 

I drew back with a breath and thrust further into him, trying to keep a steady pace and found myself biting the skin right under his collarbone. 

“Fuck, fuck fuck, Caleb...” Adam mumbled out as I found my rhythm, sitting back up to get further into him. 

I chuckled, muttered something like “I’m trying,” before it got too much again and I had to shudder to a jittering stop. I wanted to keep going but I felt every thrust with post-come sensitivity and my vision was swimming with pleasure.

“Do you want to switch positions?” Adam said, already sliding out from underneath me. 

I nodded, laying on my back. As soon as I saw Adam again, this time above me, with my… everything at his disposal, I swallowed in anticipation so strong that my hips bucked without my permission. 

Adam grinned down at me, and I took a deep breath as he slid onto my shaft, bobbing on my cock at a torturous pace. His pleasure simultaneously made my heart soar and my own pleasure nearly unbearable. 

“Holy- oh my gosh, oh my God, fucking, Adam, Adam, Adam…” I couldn’t tell you if any words were really English after that, but Adam seemed to understand. 

He used me to fuck himself, his hair bobbing in time with his cock. A cock I wanted so desperately in my mouth. Somehow, somewhere, I found the soundness of mind through our combined lust and pleasure to grasp him and stroke. The sensation made my unraveling double in speed, and I could hear myself babbling slurred curse words through a haze of Adam’s smell and touch and all of him everywhere, wrapped around me, pumping faster. 

And fuck, I was coming so soon, an orgasm that completely rocked my bones and was intensified by Adam’s pleasure at being filled. 

My hips thrust a few more weak times, but I was already tackling Adam to be underneath me, peppering him with kisses and bites and working on his release. I was able to focus specifically on his pleasure for a moment, and used it to suck and stroke him until he was screaming again.

“Oh my fuck, please, Caleb, I wanna come so bad, please, I’m begging.”

I wanted to make a comment about the fact that I wasn’t stopping him, but watching him writhe underneath me made my throat so dry I couldn’t form words, so I filled him with my fingers and pumped with the other hand, sucking at the head of his cock. 

He didn’t last much longer than that, his eyes rolled back in his head and his spine arched, looking for still more friction and not finding it. I gave him everything I had, pushing his legs into the bed underneath me and leaving light bites in between the tender licks I gave his cock.

Right before he came, I noticed with painful clarity that I was hard again. Then that was suddenly and electrically no longer a problem as I came again, this time untouched as he orgasmed underneath me.

“Holy shit, Caleb, did you-” 

I nodded, out of breath and in disbelief.

“Is it because I-”

I shrugged, collapsing on top of my boyfriend as I rolled the condom off my softening member and threw it away. I slowly cleaned Adam off with a towel, but I was so focused on cuddling, I’m sure I didn't do a good job. He pet my hair as our sweat mixed together on each other’s bodies, and I left kisses on every inch of his body that I could see. 

Holy fucking shit, I am in love with Adam Hayes.

**Author's Note:**

> if you point out typos i will have to come into your house and take all of your lightbulbs i think, thanks for reading tho


End file.
